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Game Time
Dating

Game Time

On a first date, at what point do you make the decision to go home with the guy:

(a) Right off the bat, purely based on looks.
(b) After I see what he spends on dinner.
(c) It's a gametime decision... spur of the moment.
(d) After I see what kind of kisser he is.
(e) Never, ever going to happen on a first date.

- Asked by A Life of the Party, Male, New York, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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Are those my only choices?? What about depending on how much I drink? Just kidding!

I'd go with (c) gametime. If I go home with a man on the first date, as rare as that is, it's usually due to the heat/passion generated between us: the flirting, the body language, the eye contact, the little "accidental" touches... and, yes, how good a kisser he is :)

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, New York, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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A woman never decides she's going to go home with a guy right off the bat so (a) is definitely out. Cost has nothing to do with it, so that kicks (b) to the curve. (c) is pretty much a safe bet, because generally it's a spur of the moment decision as long as the entire night went really well and the chemistry is apparent. (d) is just silly... you need more than a kiss to go home with someone on a first date. (e) is a rule we all should follow, but sometimes our hormones just seem to get the best of us!

- Response by A Player, Female, New York, 29-35, Administrative

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(C) It's a gametime decision... totally spur of the moment. Most women are conflicted in their minds at the end of the night, especially when we find ourself at the front door with someone we're attracted to.

On rare occasions, we'll think to ourself, "This guy is definitely coming to my house and getting in my bed." But be careful -- because early the next morning you're going to be cold and sleepy and alone on the street wearing your dirty boxers from the night before!

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, New York, 18-21, Student

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(E) Never, ever, EVER. Having said that, I'm now 29-years-old. When I was in my early 20s, I did it when I wanted a one-night stand. If the guy tried to pursue a relationship afterwards, I wouldn't return his phone calls.

The other things you mentioned -- kissing ability, cost of date, etc., -- have never factored into my decision. If you're specifically looking for a one-nighter, you should try internet "dating." But I think you'll find that most women are interested in the real thing, i.e., a real relationship.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, New York, 29-35, Internet / New Media

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Very rarely will it be decided right off the bat, and it never has to do with the cost of the evening. (Although, if he made a huge effort, I might actually be LESS inclined to go home on the first date because if I like him and he has real potential, I don't want to ruin it by revealing too much too soon).

The kiss thing is valid... if a guy is sensual enough to turn me on with just a kiss, he's got a shot. But only if I don't think he has long-term potential.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, New York, 22-25, Self-Employed

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Gametime. Absolutely. I'd love to sit up here on my high horse and tell you it's never ever going to happen on a first date, but there are too many variables.

But if I'm really interested and I get the feeling that the guy is quality, someone I might want to have a relationship with, I won't go home with him on the first date. It leaves you with nowhere else to go afterwards.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, New York, 22-25, Consulting

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I don't go home with a guy on the first date unless it's just to hang out, so it's (E), sex is never going to happen on the first date.

But recently, I met a guy that I liked. On our first I stayed over his place, but I didn't have sex with him. It's rare, but it happens. Really, I don't think I'll ever break my rule of no sex on the first date. It's just not my thing.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, New York, 29-35, Lawyer

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Yuck yuck yuck! (E) Never, ever going to happen! Sorry, I date guys that I'm interested in! I don't go out to get a free dinner! Besides, G*d knows what kind of animals and diseases the guy has under his belt. YUCK!!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, New York, 29-35, Self-Employed

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After a while, most women realize that casual sex just isn't good for our self-esteem.

And most of us have learned this the hard way -- so by definition, there's plenty of guys out there getting lucky every night...

- Response by A Sportif, Female, New York, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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