Active Questions
| Sex & Intimacy / 4:17 PM - Thursday July 02, 2009 |
would you confront your spouses affairs???Ok i saw a story this morning about this woman where her 44 year old husband collapsed and died. When she searched all his email accounts she found out that he had, had numerous affairs and decided to confront them all about cheating with her husband. My question to you people is, if after your spouses death you found alot of affairs, would you confront the people they cheated with?? Answers from both men and women please - Asked by candygirl2178, A Thinker, Female, 22-25 |
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i would feel it would only be right to contact them and tell them its over at least. tell them that they need to find another place to get a lay because (insert name) kicked the bucket. then i would be pissed...then prob just forget ab it cuz the bastard's dead anyway.
- Response by angel325, A Life of the Party, Female, 18-21, Who Cares?
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I would not confront any flings or one night stands.
- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Salt Lake City, Managerial
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yes, contact them and ask for donations (cash only)please...
- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 46-55
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Tough call. At the moment I don't think I would. WAAAAAY to much drama and nothing to show for it.
- Response by 1man4commonsense, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?
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No I wouldn't....at least he cared enough to not let me find out til he was dead. What would that accomplish? ~NOTHING. He's already dead and I didn't do it.
- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Teaching
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Absolutely not, what would I gain from that, more heartache, it's over and done I would just bury the past with my husband.
- Response by screambeams, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Other Profession
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I would not contact the women. Many are probably married themselves. I just think when someone is dead they should be able to rest in peace, no matter what they did in this life. They are dead. What does it accomplish to drag their name around, even if they deserve it? I would be hurt as hell and feel both anger and sorrow but I'd move on.
- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Charlotte, Who Cares?
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HELL YEAH. I might even set a couple of their houses on fire too while I'm at it.
- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Administrative
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No.
- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Celebrity
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after death, no. there would be no point. i'd be free from them. and it would only come across as cruelty and lack of civility
- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Science / Engineering
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if you had proof positive evidence, let me say that again, if you had proof positive evidence, yes, confront them and if they are married make sure the other spouse knows that they cheated on them too, just because he has passed does not mean that they get to have their cake and eat it too, and they have done injustice to you and the other spouse, but if you are not correct their could be slander and libel actions against you if you cant own up to the proof.
- Response by verygood, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Denver, Lawyer
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ps just because there were some emails, doesnt necessarily mean they actually met and went through on the content mentioned
- Response by verygood, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Denver, Lawyer
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Maybe I'm naive for saying this, but in all honesty I wouldn't contact those other women he cheated with. I mean sure ideally it may feel good to get on these women case. But if I did that I would be missing the bigger picture here. That my husband has died, cheater/dog/lover/frien d that he was still holds higher priority in my mind. I would be spending my time mourning and cursing him at the same time, instead of tracking down these women and bringing the attention back onto them again. My life has changed and theirs will still go on. I don't see anything to gain from getting on their case. Doesn't bring my husband back, doesn't make them guilty, so what would be the point? Besides if there was kids involved again they would be my priority too over tracking down random women and trying to build up my self esteem off of getting on their case.
- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Columbus, Student
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I must be an oddity but if I truely loved the man then I would be inclined to invite these women to share in the mourning process with me and make sure they participated in the funeral proceedings. They apparently mattered to him and so they would matter to me. I would consider them to have provided some level of comfort and companionship to him at some time or other. Yes I know I'm odd in this thinking and I can't tell you how it came to be. I just am not threatened by the potential for loss believing that something else or someone else would certainly come along.
- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Rochester, Who Cares?
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no,i would not contact any of them. he's dead,anyway. i'll just feel bad if i talk to them and find out the details of their affairs.
- Response by fastfurious888, A Creative, Female, 29-35
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at this point in time its a little late since the cheater has already died and the other women may not have known he was married so why interfere and possibly ruin another ones mental stability by letting them know they were the other woman. So just let dead dogs lie
- Response by rebelious1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Construction
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I'm really not sure. I hope I never have to deal with that. I trust God to help me through whatever anyway. So I really would be clueless until the situation gets put in front of me.
- Response by mlcoast2, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 18-21
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No as it is your partners fult they were playing if they really want to play they will find someone
- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed
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Def not. It wouldn't be worth it. If I was extremely upset about the death, confronting the people he cheated on me with would just open up the wounds and cause more pain for me. I would let it go and move on with my life.
- Response by cocainekiss, A Life of the Party, Female, 18-21, Student
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Def not. It wouldn't be worth it. If I was extremely upset about the death, confronting the people he cheated on me with would just open up the wounds and cause more pain for me. I would let it go and move on with my life.
- Response by cocainekiss, A Life of the Party, Female, 18-21, Student
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hell yes, I would walk right up to thier door,Introduce myself and hand them a copy of the obituary. Then turn and walk away without another word. These Bitches that cheat with a married man need to know that their actions have hurt someone innocent. They need to see the face of the woman he was married to. Just knowing he had a wife and having to see her face is two different things. They need to see the hurt they have inflicted. Even if they didnt know he was married,
- Response by 90percentangel, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking
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nope I did not contact any ....
- Response by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Houston, Executive
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I wouldn't do it. I don't see a single reason why I would do it after his death or during his life. I had the relationship with him, not with these "others". After the death of your close one you should keep your dignity.
- Response by francoise, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Teaching
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Hell, I dont know. I think I can understand her drive though. She has to suffer not them with death and having all that added to the mix. I couldnt say. Theres some very strong emotions at play here. The only thing she has left of her husband are the memories and now theyre basically null and void and ....pop quiz hot shot... what do you do? Damn. All shes got is loathing and right or wrong shes got to live it out. Bless her soul. Peace. :)
- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, Student
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No. What is the use? Maybe he lied to them and told them he was single. I would blame him and not even question them. He knew what he was doing so why go after the ones he cheated with? Even if they knew he was married it won't accomplish anything by confronting them. They obviously don't care. Only reason to do so is if you feel it would make you feel better somehow.
- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Houston, Other Profession
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What's the point in that? That would just make me feel like shit. Good thing the man died...save himself a the trouble of dealing with a divorce. Move on, so long...
- Response by TheSshhmoe, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Student
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The question is how will the wife attain emotional closure from this situation? If she feels that by talking to these women she'll be able to tie loose ends about her husband, their relationship or other things related to this discovery of hers, then she should contact them. But if she feels that this is something irrelevant to the present and future, and talking to these women will just add damage to the injury, then she's better off moving forward with her life.
- Response by simplyasking, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?
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I confronted him and she is still alive
- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Self-Employed
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