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How important is physical attraction?
Dating / 4:31 PM - Friday July 03, 2009

how important is physical attraction?

I'm involved with a man who really likes me. He is kind and attentive, we have activities in common,and values and temperaments that are compatible too. He's a good guy/ But there are certain physical things about him that turn me off a little. I know that no one is perfect. I certainly am not. And as we get older, physical appearances, for men and women just aren't what they were... and there are probably things about me that he may have to overlook too.
It's just hard for me. I really have to work on convincing myself to look at his heart, the way I'd want a man to look at me too.
I've been with men that I just adore that have been overweight for example, and I couldn't care less, or have other physical flaws. It just worries me that something is missing that I can't overlook his.
As we get older, we also have less choices, less people that are available and interested in doing the same things...at least that's how it is in my experience. I know I need to find someone that I enjoy talking to, someone that I trust etc....how important is it that I enjoy looking at them too? Or maybe that will just come after time?
please let me know what you advise. thanks.

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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I think being attracted to your partner is important. After all, it should be someone that you want to kiss and make love to. If you don't find them physically attractive, I don't think you would even be interested in being intimate with them. As we all know, intimacy is an important part of a good relationship. I think that if it is something small that you can over look, then do so. If you can't over look it, then the relationship probably isn't going to work out. You could give it more time, to see if there are other things that might compensate for limited attractiveness. Sometimes they have such a good heart, and such a great personality, that it makes up for physical limitations. I think that this is something that you have to decide if you can live with or not. Good luck and I hope this helps.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte

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if you cant stand looking at him then it wont work out. you need to be able to enjoy him...all of him. maybe your lack of physical attraction is a sign that it should be forgotten about.

- Response by angel325, A Life of the Party, Female, 18-21, Who Cares?

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we all need chemistry (physical attraction) or else we don't want to be with the other person.

the good side of it is that you only have to be more attractive then the others in your age category.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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Attraction/chemistry isn't all about looks, but it has to be there for a romantic relationship to develop.

- Response by snowbear08, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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I am getting the message that you REALLY are not ALL THAT INTO THIS MAN.

It will matter. If you are already thinking: It just worries me that something is missing that I can't overlook his...

You will never get far along, enough into him, for the INSIDE TO MATTER MUCH.

That is just my opinion. There are dozens of NICE people out there but without you feeling that special something, I doubt the future of this. IJS

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Consulting

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