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Do you ever feel ignored?
Dating / 7:29 PM - Friday July 03, 2009

Do you ever feel ignored?

Well I guess this is more for long distance relationships cause I am in one and sometimes I feeel like it even though I get emails and sometimes talk on the phone with my boyfriend.

I mean I am not there with my boyfriend otherwise I am sure he would spend more time with me I guess. But he should want to anyways even though we are just chatting. I guess its getting too boring for him-chatting online or emailing. I haven't even talked to him on the phone since a couple weeks ago.

But he says he is going to his friends house tonight and he wont be able to talk to me. Then tomorrow he is going to be at his cousins at a pool party. I just feel left out but there isnt much i can do because I am not physically there living in the same area or state as him.

I guess that is (hopefully) going to change when I move down there next year or in December.

But I just want to know if any of you felt left out or soemthing similar??
Being in an LDR or not...:)

- Asked by ellekassia26, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I think it's just normal to feel that way especially if you're in a LDR as I do feel the same and also in a LDR with my husband. It was hard during the early days of being apart and we usually have an arguments about it but then I learned to understand him better as my husband and as a man and YES...they easily get bored with any communication where there's no physical presence. To some men the more they become lonely after they talk to their s/o and they would rather spend time with friends near them or do other things to make themselves busy. But that doesn't mean the 'feelings' have gone...it's just their way of I would say 'avoiding' the feeling of 'missing someone they love'...some men couldn't handle that well.
LDR as we both know now it's really hard to keep it and needs 10 times more effort to keep it going strong but if you truly believe in your heart that in the end all the pain, the feeling of being left out, and all the sacrifices that have been done will be rewarded with a much stronger and lasting relationship and that's when you will have 'true happiness' in life.

- Response by spiritintheair, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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OMG! Yeah and I am so tired of being ignored as if I don't matter. I am talking about an ex that says he wants to work it out but yet enjoys upsetting me. See he says he wants to work it out and then he is coming back into town. I asked him today if we can have a good talk, he said I don't know..bs..then I bugged him so he gave me a childish response,,can I shut up or he will change his number...so I feel you. I am gonna tell him off in person. It is hard right now cause you are not there but I bet when you get there it will be all about being with you.

- Response by debski, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Science / Engineering

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LDR can be hard. Even assuming the best, both people still have to live their daily life. They have to go to work, enjoy their friends, etc... Try not to take offense to him doing this. If you were there, you could be involved in some of these things, but even then he's going to want a night out with the guys etc... Its healthy for two people to maintain their lives even when they're in a relationship. That means maintaining their friendships, their hobbies, etc. I had a woman think I was 'ignoring her' because after spending the whole weekend with her, I wanted to stay at home on sunday night and do laundry. Her point of view, "I'm being ignored!", was too common and frankly unjustified and sadly it created alot of resentment in her towards me... which then created tense situations, demands, fits, arguments, etc, that created resentment in me towards her. We eventually broke up. You need to keep your 'negative emotions' in check to make a relationship work... If you attribute "mean intent" to his actions, it just leads to bad things, especially when there is no "mean intent" there (and there usually isn't). Give him the benefit of the doubt. Take this time of "missing him" to remind you of how much you care about him and look forward to moving there!

- Response by amegioa, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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Been there. My ex-fiance was overseas but we went from talking 5-6 or more times a day and emails and texts to nothing. I know what he's capable of and what he isn't and how he can be and I refused to be ignored.
I let him know that- in written form, since he wasn't returnig my calls as is normal and honestly since then we hadn't talked.
He attempted to call a few times and I missed each one, which is odd. Then I'd try to call back and he wouldn't answer.

The way I see it is that I am valid and to old for phone tag and mind games. If he wants the relationship then it's up to him to save it. I said all that I needed to say and backed away from it. Intially I questioned myself as to whether I should've done that, but he knows I speak my mind and that we were supposed to inform the other when there was a problem in real time.

So, all of that to say that it depends on what your instincts tell you and how much you can take. I tried to hang in there until he came home, but I wouldn't be being myself if I did that. And the stuff that you put up with and don't let your true feelings be known is creating a habit for him.... They begin to think that it must be okay with her.

Honesty is always the best policy, especially to yourself.

- Response by pixiedust74, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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