Back to Home

Active Questions

How much do you have to put up with a person before finally leaving them?
Family & Parenting / 7:29 PM - Friday July 03, 2009

How much do you have to put up with a person before finally leaving them?

I am a very young mother and I have a beautiful little girl with my fiance. Our relationship seems to be getting worse, he treats me so badly sometimes I just want to crawl under a rock. Then at other times he treats me so well and I honestly love him. I really have no place to go except my mothers. I work and he atteneds school. but he acts like he's bringing in all the money, his family thinks i ruined his life and he never defends me when it comes to them, we fight so much I don't know what to do I feel so stupid for staying with him. he tells me he will leave and break up with me just because I get upset or need to vent then when he needs to relieve stress it I have to listen to him. I know the best thing to do is leave but I don't know why I can't can someone please help me?

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 18-21, San Antonio

READ MORE ABOUT THE RATING SYSTEM

If it were me I'd move home and work pt and go to school myself pt and arrange for some reasonable childcare. What you describe is why pregnancy without a committed, stable relationship is a really bad idea. Men just don't get the sacrifices made. They just go along on their merry little ways for the most part in these kinds of scenarios.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Rochester, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

The day that you decide, YOU are worthy, and deserve better, is the day you will get up and GO.

I hope, for your sake, it is not AFTER he has graduated from school, started working and making the great money, and you are left for another woman.

:(

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Consulting

Rating Received:


Only as much as you want!!!!!!

- Response by barbb, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


The reason you don't leave is easy...you harbor hope...that things will improve. It doesn't look as if they will unless you do something about it.

I'd move home, if I were you. This stress between your fiance and you, isn't nice for your beautiful little girl. Get her some stablization, and yourself some education, unless you can already bring in a good wage.

Your fiance has much growing up to do, if you really want to consider him marriage worthy...at least to my thinking. Good luck!

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Seattle

Rating Received:


Trust me if he's treating you this bad now its only going to get worse. Look you aren't even married yet so you won't have to go through the pain of a divorce. I know it will be hard but after 4 years with an abusive husband and a one year old baby, I left. I lived with my father for a month to get myself back on track. Mine would do the same thing as far as being horrible and then being wonderful so I would be confused and not leave but eventually I had enough and I feared for my son's safety, although my ex never outright punched me , he did try to strangle me and threw a chair at me ect...

You are so young, don't let this bleeping bleep ruin your life. You go to court, set up child support and visitation for him and MOVE ON. You deserve better. Is this really how you want to spend the REST of your life? Let your mother be your shelter. Let her help you. You have a job, that's great, you can contribute to the household expenses and get your life together. Think about your daughter and put her happiness first. All the fighting is not good for her and will only give her unhappy memories of her childhood. Don't do that to her. Good luck. If you want to talk I'm here.

- Response by dolphingirl44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Philadelphia, Retail

Rating Received:


Your b/f is showing signs of being bi-polar and it doesn't get better than it is now. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE is when you sjhould leave. My wife's friend is getting out of a relationship like that and it had to turn ugly, violent and abusive before she would listen to us and before she realized how she NEEDED to get out.
I HOPE you get out soon.
Trust me, based on what you said, youe Mom's is better than staying with him.
T

- Response by tony1176, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, San Antonio, Other Profession

Rating Received:


think if this is the type of environment you want your daughter to grow up in: parent's fighting, his family not respecting you, and him not doing nothing about it. If your mother is willing to help you, and you have decided to leave, do it! If he loves you and his daughter he will change and make his family respect you.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 22-25, San Antonio, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Back to Active Questions