Worry>>>>>>>><<<<<<<

WORRY





Is there a magic cut off period when Offspring become accountable for
their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when Parents can become
detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's
their life,' and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor with my dad,
waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head. I
asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse answered, "When they get
out of the accident stage." My dad just smiled faintly and said
nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and
heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my
mind, the teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage,
and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My dad just smiled
faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent what seemed like a lifetime waiting
for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home, and the front door to
open. A friend told me, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't
worry. In a few years, they'll be adults, and you can stop worrying."
My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable. I was
still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
was nothing I could do about it! As I continued to anguish over their
failures, be tormented by their frustrations, and absorbed in their
disappointments, my dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

My friends assured me that when my kids got married, I could stop
worrying and lead my own life ... I wanted to believe that, but I was
haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, "You look pale.
Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed
about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is
concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is
it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children recently became quite irritable when reaching me on
the phone. "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one
answered," she said. "I was worried."

I smiled
a warm smile. The torch had been passed.