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Babysitter met with a hot ex while watching my baby during my doctors apt. Would it have bugged you?
Family & Parenting / 6:14 PM - Tuesday November 03, 2009

Babysitter met with a hot ex while watching my baby during my doctors apt. Would it have bugged you?

Today I trusted my sitter to watch our baby in town for a few hours while I went to the doctor, telling her to stay close by and come into the office if there was even a slight problem.

She came over this morning to watch the baby while I was at home, I gave her some time off for lunch with a girlfriend, but when I met up with her to give her the baby for my doctors appointment, she was with a pretty handsome guy. I didn't think much of it, but after it bothered me.

On the drive home, she kept talking about their romantic afternoon and showed me the things he bought her. No visit to the plaza with the fountains as I suggested. She didn't use the blanket I gave her, and when I got home I noticed he just had an extra pair of pants, his socks were missing and his legs and feet were freezing. The bottle of breast-milk I gave her wasn't even used, so I had to throw it out and since I didn't realize she hadn't fed him, he went 5 hours without eating and his prior meal wasn't a long one!

It also turns out that this is an ex her current super controlling possessive boyfriend is extremely jealous of. It makes me a bit worried for her to be doing something that the psycho boyfriend would be upset about while she's with my baby!

Maybe I expect too much from a sitter, but I'm thinking of not having her anymore-and definitely never leaving him alone with her again.

Would you be put off by a sitter acting like this?

Update: November 03, 2009.
She's not paid poorly, I give her about $75 a day. A lawyer in this country makes only $90. The more I think of it, the more I'm upset. I will have a serious conversation with her about why I was disappointed and why it was irresponsible, then look for someone else. At the most, I would only have her here while I am here if I were desperate for help.

Update: November 03, 2009.
It wasn't a 3 hour appointment-I was only really gone from her for less that 2 hours, but fed him an hour earlier and assumed she would have fed him the bottle I gave her to feed him! I fed the baby at my lunch at 2 and met her at 3, then left from 4-5:45 for the doctors appointment, only to meet her with him with the pacifier at 6. We chatted for a few minutes and as soon as we got in the car he started crying and the pacifier wouldn't calm him. After traffic, I dropped her off and pulled over to feed him at 7 because he was crying. Only after I got home did I see he hadn't had his bottle. She basically used the pacifier instead of feeding him!

- Asked by milla, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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I wouldn't just be "put-off" by this behavior, I'd be downright livid. She obviously was paying much more attention to her ex than to your child, who should be her primary responsibility, since it's her JOB.

I would not have her babysit again.

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Lawyer

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If my sitter did this, she would be immediately terminated.

She has neglectful, to say the least, of the baby.

She did not FEED your child. I would be absolutely, positively furious.

She also has NO business socializing while she is being paid to work.

This woman has no clue how to care for a child, and she doesn't seem to give a flying crap about your baby's comfort.

You are not expecting too MUCH, you are actually expecting too LITTLE. Stop feeling guilty. You are right.

- Response by myndseye711, An Engaged Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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your child was neglected.

She is not responsible enough to take care of your child.

I would be extremely put of , not feeding,not making sure the baby is well covered.

Her boyfriend is not excuse for such neglect

- Response by morningdust, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, New York, Self-Employed

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I would be really upset! She is not doing her job. Dating doesn't fit the job description. She didn't feed the baby, she's not even doing her job. She would be gone!

- Response by dragontulip, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Therapist

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Yep. I wouldn't even let her babysit my dog.

You really know how to pick them, huh?

- Response by joeblow1234, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Yes. You have evidence her mind was elsewhere and not on the care of your child.

Get a new sitter.

- Response by justme85206, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Phoenix, Other Profession

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That's a big "YES." I'd politely thank her for her services and then find another sitter.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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She would never be with my kid again.NEVERI would have told her she got paid by going shopping with a creep instead of caring for your child.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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never heard of it taking 5 hours for a doctors visit,you're kid didn't have to go that long without being fed,where was mom?

- Response by headscratching, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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Absolutely she needs to be fired!!! She was so irresponsible with your child. Just be glad that nothing else happened that could have been much worse. No if it were me I'd never ever trust her again. Good luck finding a new sitter.

- Response by dolphingirl44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Philadelphia, Retail

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I would be furious.

I would never use her again. Ever.

If I knew others who used her, I'd feel obligated to tell them.

She was being paid to CARE FOR your child in your absence. This isn't a job to take lightly. We are talking about the welfare of a defenceless child! What she did was pure and utter NEGLECT.

You are NOT expecting too much from a sitter.

Never use this self-centered, immature, egomanic again. She's put your child in danger (and in multiple ways, not just one).



- Response by kiki812, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Fired! No bf's while you're sitting. You're working on my dime. That was my rule. I paid well and I'm not your pimp!

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Rochester, Who Cares?

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Even without the ex boyfriend in the picture, which could have turned into an ugly and dangerous scene, just the fact that your baby wasn't fed and was cold is enough to never even consider hiring this babysitter again!

- Response by abitspoiled, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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with what baby sitters make I do not think I would be too picky

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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First of all no matter how much you were paying her, her job is to watch your baby. She shouldn't be going on a date while she is watching your child.

- Response by nymodel3, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Fashion

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I say replace her. Babysitters should be ten a penny so she's really taking the piss bringing her love-life into your home. You just don't need the hassle so replace her, it's easy, phone an agency.

- Response by anything08, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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I would have fired her on the spot.

- Response by hotair, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, New Orleans, Transportation

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It's very un-professional. The priority should of been your baby not the hot guy.

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You need to make it clear that when she is being paid by you, she is to be doing your business. I would amke it very clear that you know about the controling BF and that you think it is very telling that she is willing to put your child in a situation where there could be a violent out come. She failed in many different aspects, and I doubt I would want her watching my child if I were you.

- Response by juandontbeg, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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What the hell makes you think that a Lawyer only makes $90 bucks a day? Mine charged me &180 an hour. I think you are mistaken. And if you do let this kid watch your baby again and anything does happen to your baby, you should be held personally liable since you know her to be irresponsible at this point.

- Response by rotintothickoar, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35

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Parents and sitters need to have a relationship built on trust. If you have a long standing relationship with this sitter you should talk to her and express your concerns. They may be an explanation. If after your talk you don't feel comfortable and don't feel like you can trust her then you can simply tell her that you will no longer be using her services.

- Response by findthebestnanny, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Self-Employed

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I would have been furious because I entrusted her with the safety and well-being of my baby and she didn't give him/her the care that he 'needed'...I don't care if this was a first time thing or what, I would definitely not keep her and would terminate her babysitting immediately...there is absolutely NO GOOD reason for her to neglect my baby when I'm paying her to babysit and to ensure his safety and there is absolutely no good reason for her to think that it would be okay with me...I would have called her as soon as I found out what happened and let her know that I would no longer require her services and let her know exactly why...this is not okay to do because anything could have happened to the baby and she would have been responsible and could have been charged if the baby was put in harm's way...some people...:D

- Response by fastball, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Student

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That would really piss me off (which I really am after reading this)! If I'm paying someone, who initially proved themselves trustworhy of watching my child, then I expect the same level of service EVERY time! If I have never met any friends of hers, then I wouldn't want my child around that person; especially after you say that her current b/f is super controlling & possessive (he's a ticking time bomb waiting to go off)!

She was grossly irresponsible in this situation and for that, you should immediately terminate her services and not recommend her to anyone! I'm pissed that she didn't feed the baby after being given a bottle! How could she not know he was hungry?!

- Response by Veronica71276, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Reading stuff like this, only makes me think about how in entitled the world has gotten. Simply because this sitter clearly took it upon herself to go about cavorting with someone from her past instead of taking care of your child. I think she felt that she would be getting the money anyway, so she decided to splurge alot and have fun with the ex. If it were me, this chick needs to be fired right now and don't even think of giving second chances. Because if you were to trust her again then it could really be your child's life that hangs in the balance if the sitter's current bf gets wind of her indescretions.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Columbus, Student

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I would have been livid too.
You are not paying her to babysit her lover/bf/

- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Retired

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But...Are you still considering her??????????

- Response by sunsitara, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55

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