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My boyfriend did something to me that I totally found awful
Dating / 1:22 PM - Wednesday November 04, 2009

My boyfriend did something to me that I totally found awful

Its not a deal breaker or even the worst thing that he could have done but it was a bad thing to do and for that he is in a lot of trouble with me.
We stay together so I have not made him dinner, asked him about work, been friendly, cute or affectionate. I am mad at him so its not a game playing thing Im speaking to him but ONLY when necessary. Last night he tried to get some sex, and I told him NO, and exactly why I wouldnt do it. He said he understood and then we just went to sleep.
Purely out of curiosity do you think he didn't push for the sex becuase he realizes how much he screwed up?

Update: November 04, 2009.
Thanks guys just wanted your thoughts. Not giving him sex is not a punishment, his crime has turned me off. Im mad at him because he lied to me, when we 1st met I asked him had he EVER had any STD's he said no. Monday he was talking and it slipped out that he had had one when he was about 17. The fact that he lied about something that is important makes me mad, we been together 3 years so its a 3 yr old lie. He has made a dr's appointment (although I know for a fact everything is fine) and he will not get any until he can show me that he is clean, (I know that he is though because I have been checked everytime I go for my annual visit) thats what my condition would have been 3 years ago so thats what it is now. I think its fair. Better safe then sorry.

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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Maybe... Or he realized you weren't going to give in no matter how hard he tried, or your attitude took the appeal of doing it away for him. How long you plan to keep this up. It seems a bit childish, but then you don't explain at all what it is that pissed you off. However, realize that not talking, etc. isn't going to solve much of anything and if you keep it up too long or after he attempts to make-up to you will end up driving him away.

- Response by grinandbareit, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Administrative

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Could be he just respects you enough to hear when you say "No".....

WTH did he do ?

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Houston, Veterinary

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perhaps he wasn't trying to get sex, but be affectionate towards you in a manner that says he's sorry. and you didn't accept his affection so he backed off. chances are you will not get an appology from him for whatever he did to bother you.

- Response by guy5432, A Couch Potato, Male, 29-35, New York, Who Cares?

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"do you think he didn't push for the sex because he realizes how much he screwed up?"

Nope. He learned something about you, that you will use refusal of sex as a club to beat on him when you have a hisssy fit. He didn't want go move out that late at night, but he's seriously thinking about it. Maybe he'll give you another chance. Don't mess it up.


- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Seattle, Construction

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Damn, what did he do?

I think he didn't "push" for the sex because he realized it was pointless. If you're going around acting the way you just described I'd say it was pointless for him to even bring sex up in the first place.

- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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Well you are playing games by not communicating with him. Nothing gets resolved by the silent treatment! My suggestion is if you want things to improve and change then you need to learn how to communicate with your bf, otherwise you are just acting immature. As far as him not pressing the issue well he pretty much knew you were pissed so there was no reason to cause anymore drama. Better to just go to bed!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Who Cares?

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What was so awful that you "shut him off" for it?

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Celebrity

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Exscuse me...........

Sounds like a freaking game to me!

- Response by seasons4, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Milwaukee, Financial / Banking

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It's sounds like you are playing games with him. If you want to be in a grown-up relationship then you need to act grown up and communicate with him more effectively. Withholding sex isn't really the answer...I'm just saying.........

- Response by tinydancersmom, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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no sometimes it is just easier to get it somewhere else than argue about it

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Not sure what he did but your handling this poorly. Carrying on a grudge longer than 24 hours is wrong. For you and for him. All it does is damage a relationship more. You need to stop this and sit down with him, express your anger in a healthy way and then forgive and move on. He probably was not trying to get sex from you but just trying to be nice and get you to not be mad. What your doing is considered emotionally abusive. I know men can make us angry, believe me but it does not give us the right to carry grudges for days as punishment. The fact your writing us about the sex instead of the issue leads me to think deep down you may enjoy making him pay, though perhaps subconciously. IF you want to punish him. Ask him to do something for you in return to rectify the situation and something that brings you both closer together. (dinner, dance lesson, cooking class)

- Response by vickyc3008, A Sportif, Female, 29-35

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A lier is a lier. How do you know what else he has lied about and will you be able to believe him in the future. Think about it.

- Response by leepool33, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Detroit, Retired

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