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Do you think it's wrong and do you/would you do it?
Married Life / 1:47 PM - Wednesday November 04, 2009

Do you think it's wrong and do you/would you do it?

Do you think it's worng to occasionally look thru you S/O's phone or at their text messages?

- Asked by sunshine26, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles, Administrative

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If I do'nt want it done to me I do'nt do it to others.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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He's my husband so there's nothing wrong with it...I've done it but I don't make it a habit/lol

- Response by dolphace, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Home Maker

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NOPE........and Yes, I have *he had No Issue with it !!!!!!

Why --- if your married or Very Taken, there should be Nothing to Hide

Yea, I am definitely different *shrugs



~w

- Response by wolfspirit, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Self-Employed

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No, it is not ok. With that being said I have friends that are married and they do all the time. NOT because they are insecure but just because they use each others phones. They dont seek out info. But if they start texing on one persons phone they see things. No big deal they just have a full open disclosure that dont text what you dont want read!! They choose the non hide method...


SO if you and your SO want to be open then go for it. But unless you discuss changing that boundry... it stands as NO.

- Response by vickyc3008, A Sportif, Female, 29-35

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Yes, I do think it's wrong. And no, I never do it.

It's an invasion of privacy and disrespectful.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Celebrity

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Yes and so do you. =0)

- Response by uasked, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Veterinary

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Duh, OF COURSE!

- Response by xerxes, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Washington, DC, Lawyer

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ABSOLUTELY wrong! that's just as bad as a guy reading though a girl's diary. i would never look through someone eles phone. heck, i wouldn't ever go through a woman's purse.

- Response by guy5432, A Couch Potato, Male, 29-35, New York, Who Cares?

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Yes.... you know it is! How would you feel if he did it to you?

- Response by tinydancersmom, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Yes. Absolutely. Without fail. Verboten. Never, ever, ever. Don't do it!

- Response by stoney07, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Seattle, Who Cares?

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Look through the phone for what reason?


...exactly



There is absolutely no reason to do that unless you're insecure, nosey and have no respect for privacy.

- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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i wouldnt do it without my bf knowing... he lets me look thru his phone and i let him look thru mine... really never do it but have a few times just messing with eachother

- Response by gemini22, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Phoenix, Administrative

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Yes it is wrong. No I don't do it. No I wouldn't want it done to me. No I don't want to have to worry about whatever I find.

However, I have to admit to doing it once with my ex only because I knew something was up and he wouldn't fess up. I saw one text that opened the door to learning that he had a drug problem that he had been hiding from me for close to a year. I don't regret doing it in this case because I probably never would have figured it out otherwise ... in which case he never would have gone for help.

- Response by eccentrica, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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Yes, I think it's wrong. Same for snooping through their wallet or purse.

Relationships are based on mutual trust, respect, and admiration.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Salt Lake City, Managerial

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I dont. He may have number under wrong names or codes. Im afraid if I start Ill be addicted to checking. Im also afraid of any shocks. I had that happen before and it was the beginning of the end.

- Response by A Sportif, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Yes, its wrong.

No, I don't ever do it.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Seattle, Construction

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Yes, its wrong.

No, I don't ever do it.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Seattle, Construction

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very wrong

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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If you have his permission you can do it but if you don't its wrong to invade his privacy. If you suspect him of something ask him not sneak around behind his back. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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if i have to stoop to the level of detective then it means i don't trust that person and i wouldn't want to put that kind of energy in sharing my time/life with that person.

So, the answer is NO i wouldn't do it and YES I think its wrong.

- Response by donnapark62, A Player, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I guess its wrong, but I've done it a couple times just out of curiosity...the few times that I did do this though I didn't see anything suspicious. He just had some texts between him and his friends, texts from family members, but no texts from other girls. After seeing that I just decided he was a loyal guy and I don't bother to look anymore..

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 18-21

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What is the point? Relationships should be based on trust and love but snooping diminishes both. If someone reaches the point of snooping then they don't trust the other person much and the relationship is pretty much over already. Even if it is just to 'reassure' themselves, they now become untrustworthy.

- Response by chal08, A Rebel, Male, 26-28

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I think it really depends on the 'reasons' why one would want to look but for me, I don't because it's his work phone and a lot of times, he's getting calls from 'clients' so I know that to look would only be 'snooping' anyway...lol...he doesn't do that to mine, so I try to give him the same respect...:D

- Response by fastball, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Student

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Of course its wrong. Its like someone going through your purse and seeing everything you have in there with no real reason, other than to see what you use and have in there. It's all about personal privacy and trust here. So if you feel there is something going on with him, talk to him about it. If you still don't like what you find out, then get out of the relationship period. Cause the lack of trust is just going to erode away the relationship very quickly.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Columbus, Student

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That's something I have never done and I am not going to start now!

- Response by nymodel3, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Fashion

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I can't stand when people go though my phone. Whenever I get a text my boyfriend and friends are reading it over my shoulder. One of my friends even makes a habbit of taking my phone and texting my friends.

I kind of want to look though my boyfriends phone but I don't think he would like it any more than I do, therefor I don't do it.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21

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If you mistrust your spouse, your marriage is in trouble in 12 yra wed to my wife I never once looked at her stuff, she was so reliable and tRustworthY, After I had 2 previous wives who were totaly untrustworthy

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Absolutely, but usually when I am using his phone and he is sitting right there.

- Response by cdmom1971, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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Have I ever done it, yes. Although it has been years.

Is it wrong, yes.

- Response by mgnpi, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Miami, Executive

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i never looked at phones or email until the day i found an email printed through our wireless printer in my den....i dont think she wanted me to see it. it was a rather provocative email exchange with an ex bf. she thought it didnt print to her printer (didnt check the settings)and it ended up in my hands. i think this gave me permission to look at all of her emails.

- Response by painless63, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55

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No point in doing this unless you don't trust the person, in which case - why are you in a relationship with them. The only time I can see this being ok is if one person in a marriage cheated and the couple was trying to stay together and work things out . . . until the trust is rebuilt, they should have complete rights to snoop.

That being said, the one married man I know who had an affair made sure all texts, emails, IM messages from the other woman were deleted. Had his wife snooped, she would have found nothing and believed all was well when it wasn't at all.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Seattle, Technical

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Every three or four months my wife starts to e-mail her exboyfriend a few times over a week, then they will meet for coffee and the next few days they will meet for sex.

The only way I know that this is what is going on and not something else or more serious is because once a week I check her text messages and e-mail.


- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Self-Employed

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Yes. Of course it is.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Boston, Science / Engineering

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It's not wrong if you're relationship is an open book...meaning there's no secrecy going on and both of you agree that its ok to look at each others phones and texts. I personally don't have anything to hide from him so he can go through my phone whenever he wants and vise versa. Its not ok to do it in a SNEAKY manor when theres no trust though.

- Response by erenteria30, Female, 29-35, Chicago, Financial / Banking

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IT'S WRONG - IF YOU TRUST HIM YOU WOULDN'T LOOK IN HIS STUFF BEHIND HIS BACK!!

- Response by forry28, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Food Service

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Guess what I don't understand about all these people is they think keeping something away from the other and saying a phone is person and not for the eyes of their partner my question then is what do you have to hide. I don't care if my s/o looks through my phone for whatever reason, I have nothing to hide, so if they feel the need to look go for it. To me if you think it is wrong for another to look through anything that is YOURS you are saying I have things I don't want you to have access to and want to hide from you so don't look. That is saying to the other don't trust me because I have something to hide. If my bf wants to look through my phone go for it and he has my password to my computer email and everything else as well as I don't do anything he shouldn't see so that is how I think trust is built, saying don't look in my email or phone becuase it is private and personal means to me as a partner you have something to hide and thus trust is not there. I don't think you can built trust with saying you can't look here it is private and not for your eyes. Trust guys is somewhat earned from person to person, it is not given freely. A person that knows the other is an open book and has nothing to hide is a person their partner doesn't look through the phone because they know they can and have learned none of that is a big deal..

- Response by labradors, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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I don't care, I have nothing to hide. If that person is so insecure that they have to do such a thing, then they should really seek help.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 26-28

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