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Married,but only one of us(me)thinks so. Its been 2yrs but i still wear wedding band. LOVE or Crazy?
Married Life / 1:18 AM - Saturday November 07, 2009

Married,but only one of us(me)thinks so. Its been 2yrs but i still wear wedding band. LOVE or Crazy?

we were married only 17 months... before i dropped her at work, went to pick her up that night and poof! i got a 4 sentence letter with her ring inside, and she was then over the Atlantic on her way back to England, where she's always lived before falling for me. (a brief fall, obviously)

regardless - i said my vows and meant them. and i waited until i was in my late 30's to marry just tio be sure she was 'the one'. she was certainly the one "I" fell for and loved everything about her. and yes, i wish she was still here. guess she didnt care much for New York, America or me.

but to walk around without the band feels wrong. i consider myself still married.
is that immature? i know the likelihood of her returning to me is a million to one, but i vowed to love and cherish her - till death do we part - good times and bad. and no, they don't get any worse than this!

When do most people who still love the other but was dumped - esp. those that truly didnt see it coming. - when did they remove their bands - and am i expected too? or is it every man'd choice if and when he decides too? or is it some sign of crazy? i dont like being asked, or getting those: 'so your married' questions. it isnt for that. in fact i often put my hands in my pockets so i dont have to explain where 'she' is.

I made those vows to her - and i meant them. and a man's word is sometimes all he has, esp. now for me anyways. she considers herslef 're-singled' ive been told - she wont even speak with me. shes acting like an abused spouse! So not who i was or am. never would i do anything like that. but still, she wont even tell me where she is in England, wont call, write, changed her email address. just like I - wee - never existed.

thats her.
but i wasnt made that way. what do most people do?
anyone?


- Lost in Love, at a table for One.

- Asked by Male, 36-45

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"or is it every man'd choice if and when he decides too?"

I'm a little confuzzled here. Are you a man or a woman? In the post you say man, but your profile says woman.

Anyway, you're legally married. She can't change that unless she divorces you. I'd say it's time to do the hard part and let her go. If you don't you'll just let this eat you up inside.

- Response by bookman, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Seattle, Hospitality

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Im sorry I do believe that its over especially considering her leaving the country. It is your choice how long you wear the band for if your not ready to take it off don't but eventually your going to have to. Because even those the vows you took were sacred to you they are over

- Response by ghfan1207, A Cool Mom, Female, 22-25, Home Maker

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some cast it aside immediately, in anger. others wear it until , the ring is holding them back from moving on. then they put it away for memories, I guess. with the exceptions of older widows, not uncommon for them to wear it until the day they die.

B/c theyre not looking for a new partner. theyre done. so to speak. You will remove the ring when it feels better to let go of the past and enter the dating scene again. you appear to be a very committed and loyal person. sorry, she chose to exit your life. But life goes on. g' luck

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Chicago

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okay... so, what did you do to her? she didnt JUST leave like that without any personal belongings for no reason.
she's not hiding for no reason..
I'm not buying yr story.

- Response by secilia, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Athens, Body Work

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My man for some reason this marrage just didnt work out and you have to accept that she probably will never come back to you. I say the reason she has not contacted you is that she is with some-one else, if she divorced you and its legal then you need to take the ring off, it will just remind you of her and keep breaking your heart and out in the public if any other women want to hit on you and you wear the ring it might make finding someone else more difficult?/ Be patient, love will find you again, dont go loking for love, let love find you and someday it will!! good luckand forget about this one she is gone??

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Any number of us, here on A/O, can only speculate the manner of behavior the two of you shared with each other. BUT, it is clear...there was a lack of commitment on one side....and a willingness to stay together through thick and thin on the other. As to which was which...well that will be left up to the couple to decide.

Your comment about her acting like an abused person is a curious one. It could be you may have perceptively posed a threat to her in a way you may have been clueless about. So, I would say take some time to see a counselor. Share with her your assertion that she "acted like she was abused." And, go from there....

Perhaps this will be a learning moment for you and the next relationship into which you enter will have less of such things to worry about.

- Response by angllhugnu2, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Administrative

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