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Would you describe my boyfriend as being too soft??
Dating / 8:19 AM - Wednesday November 18, 2009

Would you describe my boyfriend as being too soft??

He remembers all the little things in our relationship

He remembers every thing about our relationship our first kiss, hug first time he said I love you

He calls when he says he will even when he's half sleep on the phone (should I feel bad about this) he still calls so that he keeps his words

He emphasizes how important it is for him to let me know how much he cares and loves me

He is so eager to share every little detail of his life with me I'm the first person he calls

If something bothers him or he's upset he calls to talk to me for advice or an ear to just listen

My bestfriend thinks he's extremly to soft because guys don't keep up with that type of stuff? What do you guys think??

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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This is a perfect example of why guys have no idea how to behave with women. If you look at countless posts here and elsewhere, you'll see women complaining that their guys don't call, don't pay attention to details, don't remember anniversaries, etc...

You find a guy who does all of that, and are concerned that there's something wrong. Who cares what your friend thinks? Does he make you happy?

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Cleveland

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why are you listening to your friend? is she dating him too? that's YOUR boyfriend - if you have an issue with it then tell him -if not take it in.

- Response by pinkpanther, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Internet / New Media

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Community Rating: Community Star

It sounds like you have a great man in your life. Treat him well and don't take him for granted and stop listening to other people trying to pick fault with something that is faultless.

- Response by robyn76, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I think that so long as he doesn't start wearing those tight pink shorts like Richard Simmons and wearing a fanny pack he's doing great.

- Response by justme38271, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Consulting

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he sounds really romantic..theres nothing wrong with that.! it sounds like you are always on his mind and you mean the world to him..hes a keeper.!! =]

- Response by golferchic01, A Hippie Chick, Female, 18-21, Oklahoma City, Student

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He sounds like what every woman is looking for. Don't listen to your friend enjoy your relationship.

- Response by nymodel3, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Fashion

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Doesn't matter what other people think. Do you like this? If so, that is all that counts. Me, personally, I am like your bf. I am a verbal person. I like to share feelings, thoughts, etc and would want the same in return from a guy. I think it is attractive and endearing that he remembers your first hug, kiss, first time saying I love you.

I am a sentimental person who is a hopeless romantic. So, it is a matter of personal opinion or personal likes/dislikes.

- Response by tbear89, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Baltimore, Executive

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Mmmm. are you sure he is not gay? HeHe. Just kidding. I am going to just shoot blank here. Did your boyfriend's parents were divorced when he was kid? Did he rise by single mother or grandmother? Does he have a lot of sisters?

He shows a lot of female trait. This could be due to high influence by female member of family. This is not a bad thing but what you should consider is, does he have any strong male trait.

If he does not show any strong male trait, it could be trouble down the road. There is reason why woman like man and man like woman, (excluding Gay community). Women are looking for man who has different trait and show strong male trait, whereas men are looking for woman who has soft female trait.

If a woman is with a male who have strong female trait, it might be great in begin, it is like having a girlfriend who are male. (This is why a lot of girls like to have gay man as their friend). But problem will rise down the road, where woman need their man to be man and show strong male trait. (You could blame this on your ancestor and caveman's lifestyle). If he fails to show his strong male trait, it could annoy you.

If he has strong male trait with female trait, that is not bad thing. A lot of women like that. He is not soft. The correct label should be: he is more of sensitive type of guy.


- Response by johnnyhellfox, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, New York, Internet / New Media

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I think if you don't want him, i'll take him. HE'S A REAL MAN, no some poser.

- Response by beanielou, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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i think this answer depends on how your friend is around other people. He sounds great around you but he should try to be less 'feminine' with other people. Just be careful that this isn't an act is all your friend is trying to say I think. In general, guys 'don't keep up with that type of stuff' if they are faking it. If he legitimately is that way then it does have the potential to last a long time but know that people change a lot over there lifetime so 2, 5, or 10 years always be ready to accept change.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 26-28, Vancouver, Technical

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He sounds like a good man. Do you like that he's this way? Then don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's not her business. If you don't like it, move on and find someone a little "harder." This isn't about what your best friend thinks.



- Response by mariposa3333, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed

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Who cares what your best friend thinks. women are always complaining their guys don't listen, flake out, are insenstive jerks and here you have a nice one and you doubt it???? embrace it and thank God for him. and the only reason your friend is calling him soft if because she's JEALOUS. don't let her idiotic comments make you doubt your man.

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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wow! There are tons of women on here who dream about having a guy like yours!!

Unfortunately, lots of women go for assholes who treat them badly. Then they come over here and complain that he never listens to her, that he could care less etc. There is a huge difference between what women want (a good partner in life, who SHARES the good AND the bad and who is a support in difficult times) and what they think they want (insensitive assholes who ooze testosterone and drink themselves into stupor).

What you have next to you is a good human being. A good partner. Your best friend is obviously going for the belching &farting macho guy and thus she is not used to having a partner at her side. Stop listening to her and listen to yourself. What do you want in life?

I have an inkling though that you are bored by your guy and that you are tempted by the more aggressive, careless variety. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking these questions.

So leave him. Let him get bitter about women. Then in 10 years, when you will be looking for exactly this type of guy to build a family with, you will come here crying that there are none left. Of course not. Their hearts were broken early on by girls like your best friend.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, Student

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I wouldn't describe him as being 'too soft', in fact, he's EVERYTHING that women want and look for in a guy...apparently your friend doesn't know what women want because if I had a guy like this, I would probably be happier than I've ever been...this guy is showing you that he loves and cares about you in the 'little' things he does/says and if you're happy with him, why should it matter what other people think...hell your friend is probably jealous that you have such a great guy in your life, that she has to try to make you wonder if something wrong with him just so she doesn't have to be reminded that there are great guys like this out there...one thing your friend probably didn't tell you is that women have been seeking this type of relationship with a guy for so long that some are beginning to wonder if there are really guys out there that are like your boyfriend...be happy and quit listening to your friend 'whine' about him because you're the one who is with him and she's just jealous...:D

- Response by fastball, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Student

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Sounds like he's in a crazy-in-love zone, and is rather enjoying it. Is your best friend perhaps a little jealous...?

- Response by pandorasfault, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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Listen to me, count your blessings.
This guys sounds like a GREAT guy. There's nothing wrong with him. Women claim to want these things when they are with a guy who isn't like this but once they find a sweet caring guy, they complain.

- Response by mstoronto2, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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Btw, I'm newly single so if you dont want Mr Sweetheart, I'll take him!

- Response by mstoronto2, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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So your best friend thinks your manfriend is soft? What an idiot! If he were my manfriend, he'd never sleep alone kid. What a treasure he is.

And forget that pyschobabel some have entered. It's CRAP! You're very lucky.

- Response by rholuc, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 66 or older, Retired

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Sounds like a guy with a lot of time on his hands if anything. In any case, I think your friend is jealous, shit, I'm jealous. You should be grateful someone takes time out for you as he does. I'd be sort of creeped out about some things he seems like one of those save the hair he finds on the sofa kind of guys but then again it doesn't matter what we think. You've got yourself a relationship here and if it seems to be working and if its making you happy and looking forward to more then you need to call that guy right now and say I love how you love me.

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, Student

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sounds like a great guy. GOOD guys do that stuff. are women EVER happy? jeez.

- Response by foonlord, A Creative, Male, 26-28, San Francisco, Internet / New Media

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Your best friend is jealous.

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Cleveland, Student

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He sure is SOFT.. but it too soft depends on how you feel about it. I find that women who get this type of man usually end up getting bored with them.

Other people don't live your life. If its what you want cherish it while you got it!

- Response by jmiker714, A Guy Critical, Male, 26-28, Los Angeles, Therapist

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you're friend is stupid.

everyone every human beings are different. your guy may be on a feminine side of man's world but its ok. he's someone who is sensitive and considerate. some qualities women usually have. thats nice.

- Response by laylayla, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Remembering dates and doing the little things is fine stuff. As far as the sharing and the calling when upset, well that is not typical guy behavior.I would certainly not care to go that route, but that is just me. That much said, just because that is not typical of men does not make him a wimp, it just makes him different.

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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