Back to Home

Active Questions

With a hectic schedule that includes young children and not a lot of alone time what are some ways
Married Life / 11:03 AM - Thursday November 19, 2009

With a hectic schedule that includes young children and not a lot of alone time what are some ways

A guy can be romantic?

I have an odd schedule because of slightly shifted hours and a commute. As a result I get home anywhere from 8 - 8:30. We put the kids to bed and eat around 9. Then my wife goes to bed around 10:30.

When I ask my wife she says she would like for me to be more romantic but given this schedule I'm not sure what I can do. I need specific ideas as opposed to generalities. Any ideas?

- Asked by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

READ MORE ABOUT THE RATING SYSTEM

If she's like most women, she probably has a hard time relaxing during the average weeknight until the kids are in bed, dinner dishes are cleaned up, things are picked up, etc. Then she needs time to catch her breath and maybe have a little time to herself. So, she would probably appreciate you offering to clean stuff up after dinner while she takes a hot bath or shower. Maybe you already do this. But it's amazing how much difference just 30 minutes of alone time can make. She'll come out of the bathroom feeling clean and refreshed, the chores will be done and then...she'll be more likely to be be in the mood for something else. It really is the little things that matter. On top of this, just be a good listener, give her compliments, and every once in a while, surprise her by bringing her flowers or a card or taking her out to dinner. Some of the same things you did while you were dating are things she probably misses and would love to see again. :)


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


Yes. It is the little things some women notice.

When you get home if you notice the dishes need to be done, or the trash taken out, don't offer to do it, just do it.

Purchase some flowers (even from the supermarket) due to your work schedule. Keep them in the car until she goes to bed. Put them in a vase on the dresser so when she wakes up it is the first thing she sees.

Get her some nice bath items and lay out for her before you leave for work, she can pamper herself while you are away, and be thinking of you the entire time.

Also, a quick phone call throughout your day. Let her know you are thinking of her and can't wait for her to fall asleep in your arms.

You're a good husband to inquire about this. Good luck!

- Response by lovelylife, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Well she's as stressed as you are after work (if not, more so) and you know... she's well... delicate now. So I'd go with a massage, or leave work early one day and make dinner and clean up so she can rest a bit.

Come home with her favorite candy bar.
Her favorite flowers.

Women like the little things.

- Response by sweetness04, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Student

Rating Received:


Remember the little things! You can do those at any time, has nothing to do with your schedule.

Yes, do some of her share of chores without announcing it, surprise her.

Get her her fave food/something that reminds her of her childhood/something that at some point she mentioned she might like - it's important to let her see that you listen when she says she likes soemthing.

tickets to a movie/play/concert/rent a DVD she might want to see

get her a thoughtful card. Put it on her nightstand so she can see it in the morning and if she asks, say you thought of her when you saw that card.

Give her a massage with massage oil in a scent she might like

call her from work and tell her you thought of her
write her a nice (short) mail from work saying you miss her

Scenario: let her take the kids to bed. While she does that, prepare her a hot scented bath with nice care products. A candle and a rose might overdo it, but you know what she likes and what not. Send her into the bath. When she gets out, give her a massage. The evening ends in bed, relaxed and happy...



- Response by clairette, A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, Student

Rating Received:


Is this your schedule everyday? I would draw her a warm bubble bath...with candles...maybe some soft music....get her one of her favorite (new issue) magazine or reading material...then get some nice massage oil and give her a 45-60 min massage. If you both have a day off, take it upon yourself to get a sitter and take her to dinner as a surprise...her fav restaurant of course.

- Response by zinerva, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, Dallas

Rating Received:


There isn't much time to be romantic, but maybe have a candlelight dinner or take a nice relaxing bath together with candles, music, chocolate covered strawberries, and then a relaxing massage afterwards. Or on the weekend, hire a sitter or get a relative to watch the kids while you two go out on a real date with dinner and dancing.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, San Francisco, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Women can't fully relax until all the chores are done...this is how our brains are made up. We can't change it. Men can come home and plop on the couch and relax instantly. So, with that being said, HELP her with the chores so she can have more time to relax with you. I think that this is the best thing you can do. Flowers are nice, sure you can bring them too...and the romantic bath is definately a crowd pleaser, but, I am going strictly by the Men are From Mars/Women are from Venus book. Helping out around the house will trigger her brain to adore you beyond any other materialistic gift will.

- Response by zinerva, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, Dallas

Rating Received:

Back to Active Questions