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Is there still hope?
Dating / 4:29 PM - Thursday November 19, 2009

Is there still hope?

Without getting into all the nitty gritty details. My long term boyfriend and I want to get married but sometimes we have trouble communicating. If we can't work through this issue we both know that this is going to be a deal breaker. He recently again to go to couples therapy with me to try and work through this issues. Is there still hope? I wonder if he is just doing this out of guilt or because of history. But then again if he wanted to leave would he even agree to go???

Update: November 19, 2009.
YES! And I admit it's mostly on my side...I want to do better. I hope things work out. Thanks!

- Asked by A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Chicago, Administrative

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Let me tell you something....

NO MAN wants to go to therapy. It's a huge ding to his manhood. If he is doing it, it is because he really wants it to work.

I understand you questioning his motives because you guys aren't communicating after all. You need to trust him wholeheartedly if you want this to work. This is a time that you WANT to take a leap of faith. He clearly wants a future with you.


- Response by myndseye711, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Cali, Farming

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hun no relationship is perfect you two sound like every other couple on the planet so yes there is still hope!!

- Response by amberslogic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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If he didn't want to be with you, trust me he wouldnt be wanting to go to counseling. he would just walk. theres hope as long as there is love, but both parties would have to be sincere and work hard at over coming these issues. it can be done.
The best of luck.

- Response by dreamspinner, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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i highly doubt he's just doing it out of guilt!!! who would spend time going to therapy if they didn't really want to! i think he does want it to work also. everyone has problems sometimes, and perhaps therapy will help you guys resolve your problems in a faster manner! good luck!

- Response by hoppyish, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Newark, Other Profession

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He is willing to go because he cares about you! Hang in there a little longer.

argie

- Response by argie, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I always laugh when people think couples counseling is solely about communication. Sure people can have different styles of communication and have different meanings when saying exactly the same sentence. But communication is only one element of your relationship that needs work.
You will also look at conflict resolution and problem solving skills. You may not be able to agree on exactly what the problem is and what should be done to resolve it. Either one of you could be entering into unnecessary judgements about past events or each others individual history.
You will also be looking on areas where you are in agreement and issues of incompatibility to see if these can be renegotiated in ways that enhance your relationship instead of becoming deal breakers.
And recognize that while doing these exercises you may decide that you are really not suitable to be long term partners and then your therapy will become about finding reasonable ways to part as amicably as can be.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Rochester, Who Cares?

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