Active Questions
| Family & Parenting / 7:29 PM - Friday November 20, 2009 |
desperately need opinions!for a long time now my mom has wanted to find her dad who abandon her over 40 years ago.she is not angry with him but just wants to know him.my mom is not very good with computers so she asked me to search for her dad.i recently found a couple of guys who shared his name and kind of fit the profile,i msged them and today i finally got a response from one of them.he asked me to tell him a bit about my self but the thing is im not sure what to say because if i tell him he may be my grand father it can scare him off! what should i say or do? - Asked by Female, Who Cares? |
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I am sure he would be delighted to hear he has a granddaughter! He is showing some interest so that's already a good sign! If he didn't care, he wouldn't have responded. Why don't you let your mother write him in the message? I am sure she can type or you can type for her what she wants to say. You don't need to go into grave detail...keep it simple.
- Response by zinerva, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, Dallas
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I'm confused...it is your grandfather you are trying to find isn't it? Just give the city your mother was born and ask him if he knew anyone from that city.
- Response by nowornever, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Financial / Banking
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This can potentially be a very tricky situation. I know this from personal experience.
- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media
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I think the best thing in this situation is to either be completely honest or play it cool until you know for sure that man is your grandfather. If I were you, I would just play it cool until I knew he was for sure my grandfather. Just chat him up and see what you can learn about him.
- Response by poeticlove08, A Thinker, Female, 18-21, Student
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I'm curious to know what you said originally. If you weren't entirely truthful at the start, that'll send him away faster than anything. if you were truthful )"My mother thinks you might be her dad.") then I think he understand who you are.
- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Cleveland
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tell him that you will with hold information for the moment since there are two people that has his name and if he would like to meet in person. If that is not possible. then be honest. It has been 40 years. to much has past. Give it a go. Good Luck
- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed
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You have to flat out ask him has he ever lived where your mom was born and tell him that you are intrested in him because you may be related, it won't scare him off. You don't want to voluntare any info till you know who he is first. Don't let him slip away either.
- Response by ashahiyd, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Administrative
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Tell him exactly that you are helping your mother locate her biological father and that he has certain profiles in a handful from your search -- list what they are. Let him know it has been 40 years and your mom is looking for "closure."
- Response by enlightenment, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Consulting
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