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How to make internet dating safe
Dating / 11:45 PM - Friday November 20, 2009

How to make internet dating safe

I've met a guy on an online dating site. He seems really great but there is so much out there to be worried about. I know couples who have met online and its working out well so I want to be open minded enough to give it a try but I want to know your opinions on how to do it as safely as possible.

Help!

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Student

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If it's possible, don't let him know what sort of car you drive. Have a friend drop you off and pick you up--AND make sure your friend does not take you directly home in case he tries to stalk you.

Also, try to arrive at the rendezvous point (in public, of course) early enough so you can get a look at the guy BEFORE the guy sees you. His body language while waiting for you will tell you some things--is he impatient? Overconfident? More obviously, does he look like his pix, and if not, do you want to date a liar?

Also, try to meet not only in a public place but in a crowded public place--try to arrange a meeting place from which it is easy to escape just by ostensibly going to the ladies room (and taking a different exit). Have a cell phone and be in contact with the friend that drove you to the date, so she can pick you up at a different exit if necessary.

Never give your phone number or your full legal name to people you may not want to have a long term relationship with.

Internet dating is NEVER safe--you never know who's on the other end of the computer. But just as long as you safeguard your identity, it's not as hazardous as it could be.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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Really, the #1 rule is to use common sense. If something feels "off" about the person, that doesn't mean it definitely is, but be extra careful.

If/when you decide to meet, do so in a public place until you know him better. Make sure someone knows where you're going to be, maybe even calls you an hour into the date to see what's up.

But, and this is important, don't be so preoccupied about being unsafe that you don't allow yourself to see when you really have met a decent guy who is treating you well.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Cleveland

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First dates should ALWAYS be in a public place. Get to know him before you agree to meet him. Listen to your gut instinct when talking to him and meeting him. Have a backup plan just in case he's weird from the get go. My best friend met a man off a dating site; and on her first date she told me where and when she was going to meet him. I texted her halfway through the date to see if she needed an out. She ignored me since it was going well; that was my signal that things were okay and he wasn't weird or psycho. Just be aware, keep your eyes and ears open, and listen to your gut. The same stuff you've been told for years.

- Response by lioness21, A Player, Female, 26-28, Consulting

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I had a one year relationship with someone I met online and also made a very good friend. I think the biggest problem with internet dating is that there are tons of games that people play. I have experienced it and heard from the ones I dated. So many people, still use the sites to continue to meet people, they are always looking, its very difficult to pick up on their honesty. I would say just be very gaurded and communicate with the person so that they know your fears and expectations from the start. So would I say that it is safe, yes, just be careful and aware.

- Response by sundevil42, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Retail

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Be very careful about who you date online i tried that once it did not work the guy was too emotional and a momma's boy and ended it quick. Just ask alot of questions meet in an very well lit and and secure place so nothing dangerous happens...

- Response by dawne87, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Oklahoma City

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My lady get to know them personally and do your home work on anybody you plan to see or date on-line. MY son met a girl on-line and its been a freakin nightmare!! She is a Physco and my son was the 4th guy-man that she was engaged to that year and it was just march!! (so anybody was her target) He got on-line and told her that he would like to meet her one day and this was on a friday and Monday morning he gets a knock on his Barracks door ( he was in the ARMY) and there she was with all her luggage and he called me frantic as what to do. I told him to tell her to go back wher she came from, well he didnt and she talks him into hiding her in his barracks room and got caught and darn near got court-Martialed and they barred her from the base and he was put on report and couldnt leave his room so she finds out, if he marries me they cant do that (she did her homework) so less than a week knowing her he marries her against all our advice and she got him kicked out of the ARMY with a Misconduct DIscharge by her controlling phycotic ways, he lost over $100,000 in benefits over her and she is abusive and controlloing and they now have 4 children that they both hate and its all about money to her and he as filed for divorce and all I can say is GOOD RIDDENS!! So be careful and really think anything on-line through and dont let this be your story!!

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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The most important thing is to be safe. Try meeting him first in a public place at a busy time. Also check out this <a href="http://www.real-d ating-tips.com/dating-a dvice-for-women.html">D ating Advice for Women</a>

- Response by crazw, A Jock, Male, 22-25, Melbourne

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Here are some tips:
1. Meet in the day time, in a public place, for a coffee (e.g. Starbucks). Do not meet for a drink in the evening in a bar etc. for the first date.
2. If that is not enough, consider informing a friend that you are going on this date and the name of the guy and his phone number. When you do meet him tell him that you did this-this will deter him from doing something silly-knowing that someone already knows that you are seeing him. If you have a cell make a phone call telling your friend that you are finally with the guy who you wanted to see.
3. If even this makes you uncomfortable, show up with a female friend at the place where you fix the date with your guy. Make the guy meet your friend, say hello to her-and then ask your friend to leave for an hour or so (go shopping, etc.).

It might be slightly unnerving in the beginning, but once you get over the initial hangups you will have a lot of fun meeting new guys!

All the best,
John
Founder
Dating-profile.com

- Response by johngdating, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Executive

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