Do "you" ask or tell?

Last week I had to go the hospital and have a yearly scan done to ensure that my cancer is still in remission. I told my boss about it well in advance and then reminded her two days prior to my appointment. She had a duck fit because I "told" her I was going to my appointment rather then "asking" her if I could. WTF? Meanwhile she "tells" me Monday morning that she's taking the rest of the week off to prepare for her daughter's wedding. That just irks me when someone does something the same way I've done it but yet has the nerve to respond to me like I've done something wrong. Ughh.