An broken affair in a marriage

Against my better judgement and carried away by sweet magical words; after 20 years of marriage got into a temptesous affair. The world seemed so wonderful and it was like being young and in love all over again....but after three months or a whirlwind of romance, sweet nothings and days and days of loving...was dumped and everything ended abruptly. Unable to talk about it, with no coping mechanisms; am miserable and wondering if it was worth it at all. A boring and unglamorous marriage seems so much less painful than this...Hope not many have been here and wish not many will get here. Its awful.......when I see my H completely unaware of what I have done, or am going thru.....