Friendship Advice and Questions for Women

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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Best Friends Forever?

So..I've been friends with this girl from work for some 4-5 years..I am not sure we are friends anymore so I kinda wanted your opinion..
We have some similarities, for example, we have a great time if we go out together, love shopping together and such..but everything else about our life is different..I am married w/a child, have a degree (I am her boss) and am going to school for a second degree in a different field that I like and treat as a hobby.
She is a very intelligent girl and has tried college but was struggling w/it and quit for now. She has dated multiple guys since I've known her, got into a huge debt (from shopping clothes) and she still owes some $10,000.
During all this time that we've been close it has mostly been me listening to her problems. I usually don't say much about myself (mostly cause I feel she thinks I have nothing to complain about). A couple of years ago she was dating this guy on and off for a while. He was very verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive towards her. I did all I could to listen to all her issues with him: that she got beat up by his ex-girlfriend, then he got back with the ex, then got back with my friend again. Then he came onto her other good friend, then he dumped my friend, then begged to have her back..and such..you get the idea..
In the meantime she met a new guy but she didn't want to let go of her abusive guy (just in case)..
To be honest with you, I was a little tired of listening to that whole drama. I mean, I have a lot of responsibilities and would usually drop everything just to listen to her self-created problems. And the worse part was that she wouldn't even listen to any advice. If I tell her - he doesn't treat you well (after her crying for hours on the phone) , she'll say 'You are right' and then get back with him the next day and say 'He says it's all my fault'..
I mean..are you kidding me?
Our friendship started falling apart when she was seeing both guys and kept calling and saying how nervous she is that the new guy will find out. I really got tired of listening to the whole game. So, I told her 'You have to get rid of the old guy' a few times. Also, I told her that she 'created her own prison' and can fix everything in one day if she wants to.
Ever since then she's been avoiding me.
Not returning my phone calls, always has some excuse as to why she didn't invite me to any occasions (even though mutual friends are invited). This makes me think that she may be talking behind my back, since, I am sure the other people would wonder why I am not there..
I feel a little cheated, I mean, doesn't she appreciate an honest opinion? Was I supposed to tell her just things she wants to hear?
I really just want her to be happy and don't really care who she sees (since I hardly even know these people anyway).
I have told her on a few occasions that I want to talk to her cause I have an issue, and she wouldn't even call me back.
So..I never play games and am very honest no matter what..She, I feel, is playing games and doesn't like me being straight-forward.
She'll see me at work and say, 'Oh I miss you, we need to go out for lunch'..but it's only 'hollywood talk' - she really stays away from me. Also, I feel like I don't have her back at work anymore like I used to.
Should I confront her about this? Or should I just let her go and pretend we were never close and play 'hollywood talk' with her?
I do miss my old, honest friend but I feel she's become kinda twisted (at least towards me).
Also, my school has been going extremely well (I have 4.0 GPA) and I have been very happy and talking about it..I think it may bother her that she hasn't been very succesful in school..maybe she doesn't want to listen about me being happy..I don't know..
Any insight or opinion would be appreciated!
Thank you much in advance!

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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I just found out a former friend (we had grown apart unfortunately)

someone I shared many wonderful times with, has passed away. We used to be best of friends....now I'm just sad. Her poor family. She was very young. Very full of life and vibrant. What a shock.

- Asked by watbuttondoipush, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Financial / Banking

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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I have to end the feud but I'm still hurt by her actions. How do I accept the appology?

A family member said some very hurtful (and untrue) things about me because she didn't like the way I was raising my son. She went overboard, yelling and cursing, sending horrible emails, and even trying to fight me in front of my son. We haven't spoken in months. She left me a message appologizing, sort of. She said she never meant to hurt me but there's no way the things she said could have been taken any other way. I am still very hurt but I want this to be over for our family's sake. I have to call her back...what should I say?

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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How do you find an old female friend, if you do not know her married name.

Recently on Facebook I have met up with some old friends from college and highschool. It was fun comparing notes and catching up.

Update: November 17, 2009.
Thanks for all the suggestions.

- Asked by redbone, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Food Service

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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how can i contact her?

Well this girl was one of my colleages but after a while she stop working here.

I still did not asked for her phone number but i was wondering if could take her number by work so that i can call her or are there any other options?

- Asked by Male, Who Cares?

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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How do I say No thanks without offending my friend? A friend of mine invites me to baby showers;

the problem is, these women are her friends and my aquaintances. She forgets to invite me out when it is girls night out but remembers to send me invitations to their baby showers. My friend would ask me when I'm off so she can schedule these parties for me to come. What's the best excuse not to go without offending her or her friends?

- Asked by sexyexotica, A Sportif, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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How to get friends?From where to get friends? I want good friends, who are easy to communicate.

How to get friends? I want to earn people who are good, caring , sensitive to others needs?Are you my good friend.

- Asked by Male, 29-35

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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Can Anyone Out There Relate?

I recently got back in touch with my first boyfriend from junior high. He's now married, has been for the past four years, two kids, loves his wife, or at least that's what he says...

I'm glad to be back in touch, but sometimes I just don't know how to handle things, especially when he mentions how he would've liked to try things again back in our earlier 20's when I ran into him a few years back before he got married, though he never mentioned it at the time. He's also said things like seeing me made him think twice about where we could be had we not lost contact, and that he's ran into other exes that he never though twice about.

I'm sure he's not trying to break up his family, and I'd never encourage him to do that. I've been married and cheated on, and now divorced and I wouldn't wish that on anybody, nor would I want to be a party that contributes to it. I want to keep him as a friend, but I don't want to have to regret it later. Has anyone out there been in a situation like this? What'd you do? Any advice?

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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Friendship / 3 days ago

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so i like this girl but its complicated, i guess i'm sitting on the fence to do something or let go

here's the background story. I've known this girl for about 15yrs now. She used to be my sisters best friend but now they just see each other now and again. Anyways, I guess I always had a thing for this girl and when I saw her last year after only seeing her once a year for the last 5yrs but probably every other day before that, I just haven't stopped thinking about her.

So the obvious advice coming from everyone, just ask your sister. Last night I sat down with my sister to tell her that I like her friend. Her response was that since we all had spent so much time together as kids that her friend thinks of me like an older brother. My sister also said if I tried something that it might taint her friends trust with guys more because her friend has had a string of short term relationships over the last 7yrs now. No long term relationships which in itself I've never heard of in general. My sister believes I'm probably one of the few guys her friend completely trusts because of that history and when they get together they always reminisce about how I would take them everywhere and take care of them all the time. After hearing all that I just said to my sister that I don't want to be the bad guy here but if my sister feels strongly against it then I would let it go.

I've been telling myself to let it go but I can't seem to convince myself. So basically I'm asking if anyone has had a similar situation and how that went overall. I'm 27 btw and she's 22.

The other factor here is how her friend actually feels about me. I guess as a guy its hard for me to think of her as just a friend. Its interesting that my sister said when a girl thinks of a guy as just a friend, that is what he is and nothing else. I told her that that was not true with me. If I had any of my girl friends approach me to start something more, I would definitely give it a try and see what happens.

Anyways, Thanks for listening. I hope hear some interesting stories from all of you out there

- Asked by Male, 26-28

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